Saturday, October 11, 2014

As I Sit Here

  As I sit here with acid reflux and a 3 year old in time out for not listening, I am shocked to find myself in the third trimester already.  Typing that last sentence I have belched fire 3 times.  I won't take more than Tums and sometimes that is even hard to get down.
  Went to the doctor yesterday and all is well.  My belly is measuring right on and the little heartbeat is right where it should be.  I'm just so tired.  I wake up tired.  I want to pass out by mid afternoon and by evening I can barely keep my eyes open.  I'm not complaining.  I am frustrated by my body, more than the first time around.  A lot has changed in 3 years.  My body is older, my mind is so full and my husband bit off a bit more than he can chew in the past few months, so I've been trying to help him too.  My mom has been dealing with ongoing medical issues and it is so, so hard to devote what I need to her while not sacrificing my own needs on top of the needs of my son and husband, plus the little man on the inside who just finds my bladder the most comfortable spot ever to hang out.
  Just like I said in my last few posts, when I am a fire-burping, sleep deprived, when was the last time I took a shower(?) 38 year old it feels like I will be pregnant forever.  But then I go to the doctor and she asks me how the third trimester is going and I realize we haven't taken a tour of the (new) hospital yet and I just ordered my last set of maternity tops (I needed long sleeve to get me through December) and I have that urge to beg time to slow down.
  So, I beg of time...please speed up when reflux strikes but please, please slow down when it comes to watching my 3 year old turn into a 4 year old, growing out of shirts, looking for a snack in the middle of eating lunch and heading up to bed with minimal prompting instead of looking for me to lay next to him until he falls asleep.  Please slow down as I feel the kicks from my little man on the inside growing stronger as he runs out of room.  Time doesn't listen.  Neither do 3 year olds.