Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Here We Go Again

Its funny how a situation that caused me so much stress and anxiety over the span of 7 months can just be done.  With a 30 second phone call.  Done.  I've been so lame on the details here, but basically I was finally put in touch with the only person who could make a difference and she did.  With a few clicks, my anxiety was put to rest, all my notes and letters suddenly had no place to go.  I know there will always be a next thing, but for now I can put that panic to rest.

Onto the next thing.  Shockingly, I am wondering if the few things I have been feeling lately are......pregnancy symptoms.  Here we go again.  The feelings and emotions are the same.  It would be an amazing relief to keep $4,000 in our bank account and not need medication for a frozen cycle that might not work.  But, if I did get pregnant naturally my heart aches for our frozen embies that have been waiting for us if we needed them.  We KNOW all this.

But, here I am.  The heartburn I've been feeling for a few days could be because I've been putting hot sauce on my eggs in the morning.  The tiredness could be because I am chasing a toddler every day.  The sweating could be because it has been 102 degrees for a week and a half.

But, my DH said I felt like a furnace the other night when we were cuddling.  My mom said I looked "different" the other day.  My last period (three weeks ago) was early and very short.  Just vague enough to make me hopeful.

Oh so hopeful.