Gallbladder. Gone.

It's been exactly one week since I got home from the hospital.  The weather is almost exactly the same.  A perfect blue sky and gorgeous breeze.  I sat in a rocking chair on the front porch and took the deep breaths the nurse told me to take to stimulate healing and drank my hospital sized water.  Today I sit at my computer.  Window open to let in that same perfect breeze and water now in my normal drinking glass.

A lot has changed in a week.  A LOT has changed in two weeks.

Last Wednesday, my day could not have been more normal, even boring to start.  I had an electrician over in the morning for a small job.  Ate a regular lunch with my son at the table before putting him down for a nap.  We played the typical game of "I'm not tired"  "Yes, you are" for 20 minutes before he finally fell asleep and once he was asleep I had a fleeting thought of I want to get started on the living room I've been wanting to paint.  I had even bought the paint the day before.

But, instead of painting I laid down.  I was uncomfortable, almost like I was getting my period, or even getting a bladder infection.  I felt yucky and tired.  And I napped.

I woke up when N woke up.  But, it wasn't good.  I was sweaty and in massive pain.  There was no position that was tolerable.  I could barely stand up straight.  I whispered to N that Mommy was sick, that we needed to call Dadddy.  That Daddy needed to be home immediately.  N is 2.  He couldn't help me, and thankfully played as normal.  I found my phone.  C was on his way.  I told him we needed to go to the ER.  He was still 20 minutes away.  20 minutes felt like an absolute eternity.  I managed to get N to come downstairs.  He played while I wrenched in pain and tried not to cry out.  I didn't want to scare him.  But, I was scared.

When C got home he packed up N and anything else we needed and then packed me up too.  I could barely walk to the car.  I sat crumpled in a ball in the seat, not talking, still trying not to cry out in pain.  When we got to the ER, I walked in the door and immediately said I am going to throw up.  They got me a wheelchair and a bucket.  I threw up in the bucket and will forever remember the  face of the 8 year old with his father watching me hurl.  N said, "Mama?"  C rubbed my head.  They got  me a bed right away.

Painkiller, shots, blood draws, scans to be determined it was my gall bladder and it needed to come out.

After 4 days in the hospital and one gallbladder removal I am home.  Back where I belong.

I'm debating whether to write more.  They saw a "bump" on my kidney while they were scanning.  I'm going back to the doctor for more scanning.  It could be nothing.  It could be something small or it could be a really big deal.  I'm trying to stay calm, but it is frighteningly easy for your mind to run away especially when recovery gives me a lot of time to think.  The doctor doesn't seem to be in a rush about it which makes me want to take that as a sign that it isn't a big deal.  I'm trying to go into next week with a positive attitude and not worry "until there is something to worry about."

For now I'm home.  Right where I belong.