Monday, August 9, 2010

9 weeks today

Beef is still very much off the list of things I can eat and right now the smell of leftover bean salad from a family BBQ is overwhelming my nostrils in a way that makes me recoil in scrunched up nose horror.

Today I am 9 weeks pregnant and it is just as hard to believe as it has been since that first beta.

I never did POAS. I had considered it a few times, even tried (to no avail when the stick went blank) and vowed to do it after our positive beta. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I still plan to do it. I do still want to see what a positive stick looks like for the first time ever.

We had family and friends in town last week. It was great because they all know our news and were happy to celebrate with us. We only told the handful of people who knew we were doing IVF. I am definitely not comfortable putting the news out there for all to see just yet and have recently disabled my Fac.ebook wall to prevent any unintentional outing from well-meaning folks.

I am finding myself frustrated by my lack of energy. I was completely wiped out by the end of the week and never got out of my pajamas yesterday. Even today, I didn't get into the shower until 3pm. I am one to always have a craft/knitting/sewing project in the works, but after I get through just what I need to do, the idea of a craft project is exhausting. I just need to lay down. C is being really good and understanding when I need to rest, but I just feel lazy and lame. Of course, I do know what is causing the exhaustion and that is all good. ;)

The one big thing I learned is how all the symptoms wax and wane on a completely irregular basis. At first it was making me Crazy. The second I felt good, I worried that I wasn't pregnant anymore.

I had to change my way of thinking.

I know I am pregnant. I know I am and I tell my sweet baby all about how healthy he or she is and how much they are wanted and how I am taking care of my body to give them the best start possible. So in the moments that I feel like myself and have a burst of energy, I had to retrain myself to take advantage of it and get a few things done instead of dwelling on the negative.

I don't know about you, but during our years of IUIs and IVFs I always kind of thought and expected that the moment I pregnant everything would just be simple and awesome all the time.

I think I am going to learn a lot of these little lessons between now and March.


  1. You are pregnant....and from what I understand, at this point, it's difficult to settle in and feel like you really are, to trust it, to trust your body to do what it needs to. But it is :) And you should totally POAS!

  2. Oh my god you should so pee on a stick....after the hundreds of one liners I've seen I think looking at one with 2 lines would be like looking at a winning lottery ticket.

  3. I can't do meat either, or veggies, fruit, bread, basically anything other than sweets, lol. Congrats lovely lady!!!

  4. You are doing great lady! And I think we all think that once we get that positive life will suddenly be perfect.... in the back of our minds though, I think we all also know that life doesn't work like that.

    The good news is though, you are no longer climbing that mountain by having to dig your toes in in order to gain every inch you can make. You're still climbing, but things have started to level out a bit, and you can actually look up now as you climb. You can breathe a little easier, and it doesn't all hurt quite so bad to keep trudging forward - mostly because you can actually see your destination now.

    And that my dear, is a beautiful thing!