Yesterday someone asked me if I felt pregnant. It made me stop.
I don't know what pregnant feels like.
I know what it feels like to want to be pregnant. I know what it feels like to think I might be pregnant and I know what being overloaded on hormones feels like.
But, I don't know what pregnant feels like.
I am praying so hard that this is the cycle. I don't want to think about the reasons it might not be. We are hoping that our trouble was just as we thought - incredibly bad timing with inconsistent sperm motility issues thrown in. If that is the case, then IVF worked. Right? But, if it didn't work, something else is going on. But what? I don't know. It hurts my head to think about it.
It is Tuesday already. A week from today will be my first beta.
Big family weekend coming up (it is going to be weird, most of them know what is going on...how do we explain that technically I am pregnant, but we won't know for sure until next week - well, I guess that is how we will say it. Or we could just smile politely and change the subject and then my head explodes over the Easter ham).
I am staying as busy as possible. When I had a lot of downtime during the IUI 2ww, I would fret. I hate that I can get so far into my head that it seems impossible to get back out. I am trying so hard to not do that this time. The blogs (reading and writing) help immensely.
It is going to be ok. We keep saying that we have done everything that we could do. Now we pray.