Tuesday, June 8, 2010

nothing like zero to tears during a 30 second commercial

All it took was a commercial for For.rest G.ump to get my eyes welled up. Seriously?? I've had a lingering headache all day and now that I am home I can't seem to get dinner going. All I've managed to do was take my shoes off and sit on the couch. Then the tears from the silly commercial.

Blood work this morning went fine and I worked a half shift (two more to go!), so you can see my day was fairly uneventful, but still, the big tears roll down and my heart knows it is only the beginning. Menopur was added to this round and I'm not exactly sure where that fits in this cycle, although I'm sure we will be discussing it all tomorrow at my u/s.

Sometimes I can't wrap my head around the fact that we are doing this all over again. Last year I had a hard time accepting the possibility of even one in-vitro, now we are into our second.

I can picture myself sitting in the waiting room and I can hear the nurse call my name asking for the 1000th time if I have to evacuate my bladder (her words). I can see myself sitting in my RE's office with the big window overlooking a construction site and I wonder how far along they are since April. I can imagine myself walking to the parking garage, my ear to my cell phone filling my hubby in on the visit and I can see myself driving to St.arbucks (my after u/s treat).

These are the most intense kind of visions and I wonder if there will ever be a time when I remember these moments fondly.


  1. I hope that your u/s goes well today.
    Its funny how your emotions can suddenly well up and overwhelm. I was driving into work this morning and heard a story that took place in the town I work, it was kind-of a cheesy story but it made me emotional just to hear the name of the town on the radio, uhh, hormones?

    I just read some of your old posts, bravo for leaving your job! Enjoy your last couple of shifts.

    I hope these memories do become the fon ones you are hoping for.

  2. thanks for your encouraging comment on my blog. I'll be following your blog, and it's comforting to know someone is going through the same thing as me at the same time!

    All the best!