Wednesday, May 26, 2010

I guess there are two ways to look at this

My instinct was to be thrown for a loop. Upset and unable to find the right words. "Thank You" were the words, but the question was, would it be a sarcastic or genuine thank you?

This is what happened. I woke up this morning expecting my medication delivery. I stayed busy all morning, cleaning and painting (my stress reliever) and keeping one eye on the door.

The doorbell rang an hour ago and it was UPS. The driver was at the door with two boxes. Two? That didn't look right. Turns out those boxes were not from the pharmacy. They were from my parents who were spending the week visiting family and who were loaded with baby clothes from my cousins who wanted to send me the hand me downs of their little ones.

My cousins are great people who live very far away and who I really only talk to at family reunions. My family is very close and although we only see each other, at most, a few times a year, when we are together it is like we just saw each other yesterday. This is how I know the clothes were sent with love.

The timing was just incredibly sucky. Here I was, waiting all day for my fertility medication. I was fully expecting to sign for the box, put it on my kitchen counter (take the obligatory picture of it) and then put the cold stuff in the fridge and the rest in a cute bag (so I don't have to look at the pharmacy bag every day) and get in the frame of mind to start the next phase.

Instead I was standing over two boxes of baby clothes. Beautiful things for a girl and a boy and all of a sudden I couldn't breathe.

Then the doorbell rang again. This time it was FedEx with my medication. I know this box, it is the one with stickers all over it that say "Keep Refrigerated". This is the box that was expecting.

I called my hubby. I told him about the medication and the baby clothes. He said it was a good thing. He felt it meant that they are feeling confident for us and supportive of us, and that I will be needing those clothes soon enough.

There are two very clear cut ways to look at this. I could look at it like I'm being kicked when I am already down. Part of me was annoyed at the lack of consideration on their part that the box might be hard to get right now. If you have been reading, you know that I am struggling with this cycle and hope has been hard to come by. Or I can look at it like this...My Drug Delivery Day was lifted by boxes of support and hope for the future from my loving cousins.

I'm choosing hope.


  1. There is nothing wrong with hope--it helps the time pass at the least. I'll be waiting for my box next week.

  2. Good for you! You are right, it is a choice. A choice we have to make every day..and sometimes we have to keep making it over and over and over again throughout the day!

  3. I choose hope for you too!

  4. I'm hopeful for you, too!

  5. I must remind myself in times like these that others don't always know the way we are thinking because they haven't been there. But what I would do is look at it as a positive sign and be grateful they cared enough to send such nice things. They are thinking of you and hoping for you. They care. :)

  6. I vote hope too. And I'm guessing that they really did mean well.

  7. That is tough because I'm sure my initial gut reaction to seeing a box of baby clothes wouldn't have been good. But you're right, it is all in their intentions. The clothes were meant to give you support and hope, and it is so great that you are able to feel that! Maybe this IS a good sign for this cycle!