Thank you to those offering extra support for me yesterday. I am choosing hope, but I am also choosing self preservation. After much thought about those boxes of baby clothes, I have decided it is ok to be annoyed by the lack of consideration of my feelings by my family and that I don't have to know those boxes are in the closet waiting for something that may (if we are being truly honest) never come. Who the hell needs that kind of constant haunting from behind a closet door?
My hubby volunteered to go through the boxes to make sure there aren't any notes or sentimental items and then he will bring them to Goodwill. I will then be completely honest with anyone who asks, that it was too much for me to get those clothes while I am right in the middle of a IVF cycle, that I'm sorry they paid to ship them, but I would have appreciated a phone call to see if I even wanted them before just sending me gigantic boxes and that I have donated them to hopefully someone who can use them right now.
I already feel better.
The fact that I thought I should be making the best of it was weighing heavy on my heart. I don't need that. I have enough going on.