I am ready to quit my job. It is just a part time job and it is one that I like, but it is just too much for me to go through in-vitro and work at the same time. I have only had one cycle with this job and I was miserable the entire time. Sweaty, cranky and a few times under a lot of stress because, as you all well know, last minute appointments and schedule changes are part of the process and I would be freaking out trying to call out or find coverage for myself (it is a part time job in a small store where I am often the only person working a shift).
I would have to close the store to give myself a shot of Lupron in a questionably clean bathroom every day and deal with cranky customers, while in the back of my mind, only thinking of embryos and shots and stirrups.
I used to have a job where I sat all day and I think it would be easier to go through this with a different job. This one is on my feet 90% of the time taking calls, dealing with customers and taking the daily break to shoot myself in the leg.
I hope I don't sound like I am whining. I probably am. I like this job. I want my next in-vitro to work. I don't think I can do both.
I am very fortunate to not have to work. The extra money is great and comes in handy. I like to be busy and useful and I don't want to quit and just sit around waiting for good news, bad news, any news. I don't want to spend the day sitting alone in my house counting the minutes until my next shot, but I can't help but wonder if stress from this job was part of the reason our first attempt didn't work.
I can get pretty wound up when I am stressed. And sometimes I feel like I am not normal if I am not worried about something. I can't remember the last time I wasn't worried about something...anything.
A few weeks ago things were good all around. We were healthy, no work drama, all family members checking in with good news and all I could do was obsess over a weird smell in the bathroom(!). Not normal weird bathroom smells. ;) I. was. obsessed. It turned out to be a pipe with a dry trap. Not a big deal, but the cause of searching the web, calls to plumbers, questions to family members. What a mess. I am only 5 days into my new cycle. How much more obsessive am I going to get?
That's not really my question. I want to know how you do it? How do you work full time, part time or a little bit of the time and go through in-vitro at the same time? Do you have to give yourself a shot in the bathroom at work? Do you ever burst into tears when it gets overwhelming? Do you have trouble finding your focus in all this?
Sometimes I can't find my focus.