Sunday, May 16, 2010


I am ready to quit my job. It is just a part time job and it is one that I like, but it is just too much for me to go through in-vitro and work at the same time. I have only had one cycle with this job and I was miserable the entire time. Sweaty, cranky and a few times under a lot of stress because, as you all well know, last minute appointments and schedule changes are part of the process and I would be freaking out trying to call out or find coverage for myself (it is a part time job in a small store where I am often the only person working a shift).

I would have to close the store to give myself a shot of Lupron in a questionably clean bathroom every day and deal with cranky customers, while in the back of my mind, only thinking of embryos and shots and stirrups.

I used to have a job where I sat all day and I think it would be easier to go through this with a different job. This one is on my feet 90% of the time taking calls, dealing with customers and taking the daily break to shoot myself in the leg.

I hope I don't sound like I am whining. I probably am. I like this job. I want my next in-vitro to work. I don't think I can do both.

I am very fortunate to not have to work. The extra money is great and comes in handy. I like to be busy and useful and I don't want to quit and just sit around waiting for good news, bad news, any news. I don't want to spend the day sitting alone in my house counting the minutes until my next shot, but I can't help but wonder if stress from this job was part of the reason our first attempt didn't work.

I can get pretty wound up when I am stressed. And sometimes I feel like I am not normal if I am not worried about something. I can't remember the last time I wasn't worried about something...anything.

A few weeks ago things were good all around. We were healthy, no work drama, all family members checking in with good news and all I could do was obsess over a weird smell in the bathroom(!). Not normal weird bathroom smells. ;) I. was. obsessed. It turned out to be a pipe with a dry trap. Not a big deal, but the cause of searching the web, calls to plumbers, questions to family members. What a mess. I am only 5 days into my new cycle. How much more obsessive am I going to get?

That's not really my question. I want to know how you do it? How do you work full time, part time or a little bit of the time and go through in-vitro at the same time? Do you have to give yourself a shot in the bathroom at work? Do you ever burst into tears when it gets overwhelming? Do you have trouble finding your focus in all this?

Sometimes I can't find my focus.


  1. These are the same issues I am facing myself as I head very shortly into my first IVF. I work very strange hours, and the shots are going to be incredibly difficult to arrange. I am leaning on FMLA to get me through it if I can't deal, but I'm worried. What about volunteering to keep you busy? So you have a little more flexibility?

  2. I have no idea how other people do it either. Luckily I'm self employed and I can just shut the doors if I really need to (although we won't be in business long if I do it too often). I do spend way too much time obsessing while I'm at work--it's mostly a desk job. I think it's just part of the deal. We are women and we obsess.

    I've only done FET (embryo adoption) because we have genetic issues along with IF, so my only shots can be done after hours at home. Sorry I'm no help there.

    I hope you find a happy balance between work and IVF.

  3. I was successful on my 2nd fresh IVF while I was off for the summer so the added stress of work and making it to my appointments and everything inbetween wasn't there. So, if you're on the fence, I would choose the least stressful option. My shots were always at night, so that wasn't an issue for me. Good luck with your decision.
    BTW! Silly me, I already had your link!